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OOR SQUAD
Goalkeeper
MICHAEL CALDER fae Banff, a hell of a way to travel. Great shot stopper who says little but when he does you know it.
Defenders
STEPHEN JEFFREY known to the Polis as Jaff, likes a beer and is employed by Bob Thow. Team Captain when he manages to get on the pitch.
NIKI GALL been with Dyce a while (naebody else wants him) Just learned to drive allegedly. Already bumped into a mate. Class act when he wakens up.
LEE MORRISON quiet loon fae Ellon. Great marker. Always on holiday to maintain his tan. Dad’s a great supporter of the club, when sober.
STUART LORNIE has been with the Club for a long time. Worked at Asda as a trolley boy, which he preferred to training. Now got a real job, therefore we see more of him (unfortunately). Tenacious player who has a strong heart and never gives up.
NICHOLAS FERGUSON better know to the girls as Fergie. Very hair conscious and a better nickname would be mirrors as he is never away from them. Solid player who can distribute a ball well.
MURRAY WATSON Totally committed ( slightly mad) Never gives up and has a tremendous level of fitness. Eyesight a problem, so don’t think he is ignoring you, he probably can’t see you.
Midfielders (Allegedly)
DEAN STEWART Known affectionately as ‘Densel’. Management prefer to call him Deano. Tall lad, who likes a beer. Strong in the tackle and can pass the ball well.
MARK DONALDSON Stylish player who reads a game well. Unfortunately he is mates with Baz and therefore doesn’t have a lot of friends.
KEVIN HENRY A Dyce stalwart, who has played at all the age groups. Thank God he is getting older and can stick to management after the end of the season. Delivers a great cross when he is wearing his boots on the right feet.
NIKI HEWITT Son of a famous father (but I canna mind his name). On the ball he has a superb touch. Drives a car and treats it like a taxi, charging his mates for lifts to training and games. Will obviously end up in business. Likes to be known as a joker, Bryan and Eric don’t know why.
NIKI SINCLAIR A young lad with bags of skill. Known to all as ‘Bumble’. The one player in our team that Bryan and Eric would pay money to watch playing.
Strikers
STEPHEN RAE Has been known to turn up on time. Likes his bed. Wears a woolly hat. That’s as much as there is worth saying really. Okay, he has a great right foot and a crap left one.
DAVIE SMITH Small, fast and never gives up. Will end up as our top goal scorer if he is not careful.
JONATHAN OAKES When he is fit, he can torment any defence (even ours). Comes from Westhill, when he can get a lift.
RYAN STEWART Hails from Stonehaven. Quiet unassuming lad, who has great pace and can deliver a good cross.
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